“I’m going to get healthy”
“I’m going to save more money for ____”
“I’m going to spend more time with my family”
All reasonable goals that people might say. However, what is the one common trend among them? They are all about “I”. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to do things for yourself, and go at it like a lone wolf, the power that other people can have to help accelerate your progress can be tremendous.
Three Ways to Use Others to Accelerate Your Progress
Use sounds so harsh, but know that this is not in a bad way like manipulating or taking advantage of, but rather using the power of others to progress quicker, stick to plans, and boost results.
1 – Make a Promise
Studies have shown that when you make a promise to someone, you are more likely to do it. If you make a promise to a group of people, you are even more likely to do it. If you make a promise to a large audience – like your social media circle, a crowd of people, etc. you are even MORE likely to follow through (tell that to the politicians though… 🙂
It is our human nature to not want to let other people down, and not disappoint social expectations.
When it comes to these promises, make sure that they are centered around your process goals (actions to reach the goal), and not your result goals (actual goal).
If your goal is to lose 10 pounds by Jan 1, write out the things that you need to do to reach this goal, then choose 1 or 2 to focus on, and make that promise to someone, or a bunch of people. Write it out, make a contract, etc. The more “intense” you make it the better.
2 – Band Together with a Tribe
We want to fit in. We want to be accepted. Again – it’s human nature – actually it’s nature. Even animals show interesting traits of wanting to fit in when they are in groups.
You are much more likely to achieve your goals if you spend time with like minded people. Saving money for a house? Maybe you shouldn’t be trying to keep up with your friends who want to party every weekend and don’t have the same goal as you. I’m not saying you need to abandon your friends, but pick and choose when you hang out with them based on the influence that it might have on your ultimate goal.
Joining a group that has the same interest or goal as you makes it easier to continue to do those things because it’s seen as the norm when you are with that group. It’s what these people do, so I should to it to! Peer pressure isn’t always a negative.
Even more powerful is joining a group with the same goal as you that also has a current shared interest/commonality.
Mom’s Reading Book Club – Goal: To Read More, Commonality: Mom’s
Ladies Lifting Group – Goal: Lift weights and get jacked, Commonality: Ladies Only
Young Entrepreneurs Networking Group – Goal: Increase Network, Commonality: Young Entrepreneurs
You get the idea. Find a tribe or group, and hang with them more – and the challenging actions from outside of the group will magically become the social norm for you.
When you constantly hang out with people who don’t align with your goals, you are much less likely to achieve them. Sure, willpower can work for some time, but eventually you hanging out with the group of friends that wants to crush beers, pig out, and sleep in until 11 AM will pull your further and further from your goal of losing fat.
3 – Use a Friend to Increase Your “Risk”
Give a friend $500 and tell them that for every day you go to the gym with them, they have to give you $5 back. Every time you back out, they get to keep $5.
Seems outrageous, but it’s actually more likely to get you to the gym frequently. This gives you 100 money making opportunities to get to the gym. That is a pretty damn good goal, wouldn’t you say?
Even one step further – tell them that every time you back out, they get to donate your $5 to the political party that you DON’T align with. Classic reward/punishment system here.
Whatever you choose to do, the more you put on the line as far as potential rewards or punishments, you are more likely to have that extra kick in the pants when it comes time to do your action.
The key here is involving someone else. When you make promises and set up reward systems for yourself, you are more likely to make excuses, and justify half assed promises. It can really be anything – someone will pay for dinner, will buy tickets to _____, will take you ____, – anything that gives you that extra kick to push towards your goal.
Even if you are more of a lone wolf, finding one person to align with, make a promise to, or setup a reward system with will increase your odds at winning. Link ALL 3 techniques together, and I think you would be pretty much unstoppable!
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Stay healthy my friends,